Tuesday, January 09, 2007

TECH WIFE1 PROGRAM TROUBLESHOOTING

Subject: N.B.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

(KEEP READING) I ATTACH A PICTURE OF MY MALFUNCTIONING WI UNIT

______________________________________

> > REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support BACK TO EDEN GURU

accupressure points

Relief at Your Fingertips Press on your hand and relieve a headache? Touch between your eyes and reduce anxiety? Sounds like a game you might play with children, but in fact it is part of the Chinese medicine practice of acupressure. Research studies have centered on the health benefits of acupuncture, in which fine needles are inserted into "acupoints" -- specific places along the body's energy pathways called meridians. Chinese medicine teaches that within meridians, energy can get blocked, becomes too low or too high, which can cause pain or discomfort in other -- but related -- places in the body. Acupressure, which actually predates acupuncture, uses pressure rather than needles on these acupoints. By applying pressure at the correlated point, it relieves the energy block and restores a normal energy flow and gets rid of the pain or discomfort. Acupuncture requires a well-trained professional. The great thing about acupressure is that, depending on the ailment, you can actually help yourself. This isn't to say that acupressure is to be taken lightly. Acupressure is sophisticated and requires extensive training, but there are a few simple strategies that anyone, with proper instruction, can use to address some common discomforts in themselves or others. For information on how people can use this technique, I spoke with naturopathic physician and licensed acupuncturist Joan-Ellen Macredis, ND, LAc, MAc, who also uses acupressure in her practice in Stamford, Connecticut. There are some differences in how various practitioners teach self-strategies, but Dr. Macredis told me that the following general guidelines are what she has found to be best...
To apply pressure to a point, use your thumb and press straight down to the stage of mild discomfort but not pain. Less is often more in this case, she says. Some people find that rubbing clockwise on the point works well for them, but she prefers to start people with finger pressure and if results are good, stay with it.
Hold pressure for 10 seconds, release and reapply for sessions of up to five minutes. Pressing longer than five minutes per session can create light-headedness, she cautions.
Never press in and out -- this can aggravate pain or create a general feeling of malaise, says Dr. Macredis.
Start with just one session a day. You may not feel results until the next day and should too much energy be released, it may end up increasing discomfort. If that happens, adjust by shortening the amount of time you apply pressure or decrease pressure. Conversely, if you want more stimulation, add one or at most two five-minute sessions per day.
Drink a full glass of water before or after you start and avoid practicing when you are hungry. Wait 20 minutes after eating, bathing or exercising. TOP ACUPOINTS With this in mind, following are the areas where energy commonly gets stuck, says Dr. Macredis...
Hand point. This addresses any kind of problem in the area of the head including headaches, sinus pain, colds, etc. Close the space between your thumb and index finger to make a mound appear. Go to the top of the mound at the juncture between the thumb and index finger and press with your thumb. Try clockwise rotation rubbing if pressure alone doesn't work.
Toe point. This is good for relieving muscular or skeletal pain, PMS, headaches or general irritability. Find the space where the first and second toes meet. Your finger will fall into a groove. It will feel as if your thumb has fallen into a small hole, she says, and is the correct point to apply pressure. To obtain greater relief, Dr. Macredis advises a pressure session for both the hand site and the toe site. Start with pressure on the same-side body points. If you want more relief, switch to doing it on opposite hand and foot sides instead. However, never apply pressure at all four points, in other words, don't apply on both hands and both feet. That would release too much energy in general, she says.
Wrist point. Try this for nausea. Bend the inside of your hand toward you to form a crease at the wrist. Move your thumb the width of two thumbs toward the body and press.
Shin point. This is the place where you can ease indigestion woes. Locate the shin bone (tibia) just below the knee cap. Place your thumb at the highest point and measure one thumb width to the outside of the bone, the right of the tibia, and slide your finger down the bone to locate any sensitive area to touch. This is your pressure point.
Ankle point. If toe point pressure doesn't relieve menstrual cramps sufficiently, add this. Find the indentation on your inside leg between the ankle bone and the Achilles tendon. Go up about three thumb widths above the anklebone and apply pressure.
The third eye point. This point is called the Yintang point and provides a handy way to soothe a headache or sinus pain, to calm a bad mood or anxiety and it serves as a general pick-me-up. Find the middle point between your eyebrows and press with your middle finger. Do not apply pressure for more than 30 to 60 seconds and do this only one time. There are many more points and many other problems acupressure can address including more specific digestive issues. More than this, though, requires hands that are properly trained in the art of energy release. From the energetic to the purely physiological, there is much to be gained from a little pressure.