Health Tip: Dressing for Warmth - Health and Medical Information Produced by Doctors - MedicineNet.com: "Health Tip: Dressing for Warmth (HealthDay News) - During the cold winter months, it's important to protect your skin from frostbite, chapping and drying. Dressing warmly and wisely can help keep you warm and spare your skin. Latest MedicineNet News Health Tip: Buying Athletic Shoes In-the-Field Facial Surgery Helps Injured Troops Experts Issue Guidelines on Diagnosing Seizure Rejuvenated Skin Cells Make Stem Cells Health Highlights: Oct. 18, 2007 The New York City Office of Emergency Management offers these suggestions before heading outdoors this winter: Retain body heat by keeping your head warm. Wear a scarf, hood or hat. Dress in layers to insulate yourself, and to make it easier to cool down if you get too warm. Use gloves, scarves, hats and earmuffs to keep extremities warm. Be especially sure to cover your ears, nose and fingers. Remove any clothing that gets wet, as it will only make you colder."
Vanity and not being properly dressed for the occasion can lead to misery -Don't you wonder why people -particularly youner ones are literally" cool" beause they do not dress for the season . MVI
Friday, December 07, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
From a male marriage and relationship guru targeting our readers
Amazingly -this came from an advertiser ( check the bottom of the blog and click) on this Venusian site obviously targeted against our female readers and sensitively supported by our male readers.Wow can relationships be that simple- particularly profound is why men do not listen and why female support is not necessarily effective.
The pitch-How to Be the Woman Men Adore ... and Never Want to Leave
Have you ever met the kind of woman ...
The pitch-How to Be the Woman Men Adore ... and Never Want to Leave
Have you ever met the kind of woman ...
- that men fall hopelessly in love with
- with whom men want to spend all their time
- whom men want to please and do anything for
- who brings out the romantic and passionate side of a man; and
to whom men want to give everything?
What special quality, trait, or personality does this woman have that attracts men like a magnet, makes men powerless in her hands, and makes them want to spend their lives with her?
I've personally met many women like this -- and here's the startling observation I've made: These women are not necessarily the most beautiful, the tallest, the smartest, the one with the most gorgeous hair, sexy legs or the most ample breasts, as one might think!
A look back in history reveals the likes of ...
... a divorcée (shocking in those days), Wallis Simpson, for whom the Duke of Windsor abdicated the throne of England;
... the early-twentieth-century French writer Colette (described as having
a "frightful" appearance), who managed to have numerous male conquests;
... Martha Gellhorn, the plain-looking scholar for whom Ernest Hemingway
became love-sick and never recovered;
... Mumtaz, for whom the Emperor Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal;
... and the women throughout history who have won the hearts of Princes and Kings.
These women know the secret to creating magic with men. And here's the good news for you -- if you're like most women who struggle with relationship challenges. The ability to create magic with men is NOT really magic at all. It’s a skill which can be learned by any woman -- and that includes you!
Before I tell you how to acquire that secret skill (which already resides inside you, though dormant), let me ask you a question:
Why Do Most Women Struggle in Their Relationships with Men?
There are many reasons why women have relationship challenges, but as I mentioned before, the main reason is that women simply don't understand men. If a woman really understood men, she'd know how to effortlessly attract men like a magnet, make men powerless in her hands, have them fall in love with her, and give her everything her heart desires.
The main obstacle women face in their effort to understand men is that they turn to all the wrong things: They seek advice from their friends, and they rely on relationship advice from women's magazines.
By all means, seek the listening ear of a friend if you simply want to unburden -- and if talking to your friend makes you feel better. But always remember that talking to your friends results in deeper and better friendships with your friends -- but does little to improve your relationships with men.
Everything You Ever Learned About How to Attract and Keep a Man
is Wrong!
What if I told you that you could make a man adore you just by being yourself?
Yes, you don't have to be anything but yourself. There's just one condition. You also have to understand what a man wants.
Will Giving a Man What He Wants Get You What You Want?
My answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Here's the big secret. Men want to be enraptured by a woman. They may not admit it openly, but they want to be lured, finessed, bewitched, possessed and seduced by a woman -- and they don't mind surrendering to her siren maneuverings and be rendered powerless by her. A man would gladly give anything to the woman who can make him feel good.
Unfortunately, most women simply don't know how to make a man feel good. Believe it or not, the majority of women have the mistaken notion that learning a few sexual tricks and bedroom stunts from Cosmo and the Kama Sutra, or cooking him sumptuous meals "better than Mama ever made" ought to do the trick -- and their man would stay devoted to them forever.
That's an outdated mode of thinking derived from the old wives' tale that says "The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach" -- or his crotch, in most instances. If that were true, then sex therapists, prostitutes and professional chefs would have the best marriages, wouldn't they?
There's so much more to making a man feel good than meets the eye.
"Seduction" is 99% Mental Skills
While a woman's sexual skills and good cooking are always appreciated by men, seduction is 99% mental power. Over the years, I've wanted to teach this and other powerful relationship principles to more than just the female clients who are able to travel to my office in Georgia for relationship counseling.
So I devised a way to share my relationship principles so that women all over the world can learn to understand men and develop successful relationships with them – no matter where they live! So I've written a 119-page e-book titled The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave, wherein I reveal all the details of how you can entice a man, make him fall in love with you, and give you the world -- just by using closely guarded secrets that I've compiled over the last 17 years.
For example, on page 110, I reveal a very powerful technique that every woman (who wants to know how to inspire her man to consistently search for ways to please her) can use. It works like a charm. All you have to do is say 3 sentences to him -- I give the exact word-for-word "script". Once you say those words, it's like effortlessly casting a spell over him. He won't be able to get you off his mind -- and will look for every opportunity to please you.
Wouldn't you want to know what those 3 sentences are?
And if you think that's exciting, wait till you see all the other mouth-watering secrets I reveal in The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave. Take a sneak peek below:
5 things men crave that women don't know about -- Nothing in the world is more exhilarating for a man than these -- and if you give them to him, you'll have his undying devotion. (See pages 106-110)
The main reason why men choose to get married (or stay married) to a particular woman. This can be summed up in 5 words. Carve these words in your heart and never forget them. (See page 20)
The powerful ability a woman possesses that causes men to be interested in her -- even if she isn’t the tallest, smartest, or the most beautiful woman around. Not even looks, sex appeal, money, power, or prestige rate as high as this ability when it comes to making yourself irresistible to men -- and you can easily have it with a little practice. (See page 33)
Do you know what's the No. 1 "man repellant" in existence? Ignore this and you'll make him feel incapable of being your hero. This could very well be a major reason as to why "he's just not that into you." (See page 27)
How to speak in a way that hypnotizes a man into feeling safe so that he'll allow you to influence him with no resistance. (See page 16)
How to be yourself and still be loved by a man – I'll show you how to find the courage to be imperfect and be loved in spite of it -- and teach you how to remove the “layers’ that keep a man from knowing and loving you. (See page 64)
Pinpoint exactly what you’re doing that makes men NOT want to be close to you. How to tell if you're unknowingly sending off a signal that says "You can only get this close, and that's it." (See page 8)
How to make a man do what you want him to do – and make him think it was his idea! (See page 23).
How to influence or shape your man's opinion with the power of words -- even if he doesn’t see the need to change. How you influence him will affect his behavior toward you -- for better or for worse. (See page 97)
Discover the secret to making a man feel understood by you. Master this secret and you can ask your man for almost anything, and he’d be willing to give it. (See page 94)
How to use your femininity to disarm a man, break down his defenses -- and turn him into a caring and sensitive man you've always wanted. (See page 32)
How to master the art of perfect timing to get what you want in a relationship. (See pages 94-96)
Why you should not compete with your man -- and when to allow your man to be your superior. Even when you're capable of being his equal, trying to be his equal in certain areas will drive him away, and won’t lead to the intimacy you crave. (See page 73)
How to use your innate feminine power to make a man powerless to resist you. This is what separates women that men fall in love with from those that men ignore and take for granted. (See page 15)
The things a woman does that makes a man shut down and feel alienated from her. If you're doing these things, you may be sabotaging your relationship. (See page 34)
The kiss of death in a relationship -- and how to avoid it. (See page 96)
The ultimate secret that will give you more influence with men than you've ever imagined. This might sound silly -- but it works like magic when it comes to persuading men to your way of thinking. (See page 78)
The part of your body that serves as a strong elixir, which men want to be held captive to. No, it's not your breasts, legs or derrière. Use this part of your body to the hilt and you'll have him wrapped around your little finger. (See page 109)
How to make a man feel cherished by you, and as a result, he will want to spend more time with you and want to be around you more. (See page 94)
Why some women drive away good men or continually pick losers – How to tell the difference between impulses and feelings, so that you'll never again allow the intensity of impulses guide you to a poor choice in men. (See page 38)
How to be strong by being vulnerable - Women who know how to use vulnerability as a relationship device are always astonished by the impact they make on a man. (See page 10)
How to determine if you have “barbed wire around your heart” – and how to let that defensive weapon down and allow a man to love you. (See page 51-53)
How to take advantage of a man's natural predisposition to make him do everything possible to make you happy. (See page 72)
What do men really find attractive about a woman? A survey of hundreds of men reveals that it's not a woman's breasts, legs or derrière that they always consider more attractive. It's something you already have, and when you crank it up to mega-watt brilliance, you'll maximize your sex appeal. (See pages 33-34)
The No. 1 problem that couples face. This problem is like a cancer that permeates all other areas of your life -- and I show you 3 ways to overcome it. (See page 45)
Why Men Don’t Listen – The "Reflective Listening" technique you can do that will make a man eagerly listen to what you’re saying as if it were pure gold. (Page 103)
The 4 words that all women should memorize in order to have successful relationships with men. These words point to a fundamental difference between men and women that you must never forget. (See page 14)
The "Truth List" Exercise - A magical technique for uncovering the special qualities that men (and people in general) find attractive in you. This will enable you to allow those qualities to surface -- thereby boosting your confidence along the way. Men find confidence absolutely sexy! (See pages 61-62)
How not to let your past hurts sabotage your chance of having successful relationships. (See page 52)
Adversity builds character or new energy
use it or lose it -right
Adversity Builds Character (But I Prefer the View from the Top)
by Donald J. Trump
The issue of Inside Trump Tower that you will receive in two weeks will be our 100th issue! As always, it will be packed with good advice - and for that issue, a choice selection of a few popular articles from the past. To start that process today, we are proud to reprint this great article by our Chairman Donald J. Trump that first appeared on the Trump Blog in June 2005.
My greatest respect is for people who have experienced adversity and then come back. I was one of those people, in the early nineties. I went through a tough period and learned a lot about myself, and then came back bigger and better and stronger. It wasn't unlike what happened to Frank Sinatra in the early fifties. Like me, he lost focus. He took his eye off the ball and he made some bad decisions. (Also like me, it was the fairer sex that had a little something to do with his troubles, but that's another story for another time.)
There's a wonderful story in Sammy Davis Jr.'s book, Yes I Can. In this story Sammy, who is on the way up (due in no small part to Sinatra's patronage), sees Frank walking down Broadway all by himself, looking utterly dejected. At the time, Frank was on the skids, having gone from being the biggest singer ever known to a laughingstock, reduced to singing novelty songs.
It's a familiar scenario to me, because one night at 3:00 A.M., when I was more than $9 billion in debt, I was summoned to Citibank for a conference call with a bevy of international bankers to whom I owed money. It was pouring rain and I couldn't get a cab, so I had to walk to the bank, 15 blocks from Trump Tower. By the time I got there I was soaked. I felt then like I had reached my lowest point. But we worked things out, and the rest, as they say, is history. They also say it's darkest before the dawn. You know what I say: Never ever give up.
Adversity Builds Character (But I Prefer the View from the Top)
by Donald J. Trump
The issue of Inside Trump Tower that you will receive in two weeks will be our 100th issue! As always, it will be packed with good advice - and for that issue, a choice selection of a few popular articles from the past. To start that process today, we are proud to reprint this great article by our Chairman Donald J. Trump that first appeared on the Trump Blog in June 2005.
My greatest respect is for people who have experienced adversity and then come back. I was one of those people, in the early nineties. I went through a tough period and learned a lot about myself, and then came back bigger and better and stronger. It wasn't unlike what happened to Frank Sinatra in the early fifties. Like me, he lost focus. He took his eye off the ball and he made some bad decisions. (Also like me, it was the fairer sex that had a little something to do with his troubles, but that's another story for another time.)
There's a wonderful story in Sammy Davis Jr.'s book, Yes I Can. In this story Sammy, who is on the way up (due in no small part to Sinatra's patronage), sees Frank walking down Broadway all by himself, looking utterly dejected. At the time, Frank was on the skids, having gone from being the biggest singer ever known to a laughingstock, reduced to singing novelty songs.
It's a familiar scenario to me, because one night at 3:00 A.M., when I was more than $9 billion in debt, I was summoned to Citibank for a conference call with a bevy of international bankers to whom I owed money. It was pouring rain and I couldn't get a cab, so I had to walk to the bank, 15 blocks from Trump Tower. By the time I got there I was soaked. I felt then like I had reached my lowest point. But we worked things out, and the rest, as they say, is history. They also say it's darkest before the dawn. You know what I say: Never ever give up.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Six Ways Men Can Make Their Marriages Much Happier
Six Ways Men Can Make Their Marriages Much Happier Scott Haltzman, MD Brown University
Men often are told that to improve their marriages, they must share their hopes and fears with their wives and become more emotionally connected -- in short, that they must behave in ways that are totally unnatural for the average man.
Good news: There are steps men can take that will make their marriages happier but still let them be themselves...
1. Treat your wife like a business client. Many men say they don't know what's expected of them in romantic relationships -- yet the same men know what to do in business relationships. The two aren't as different as you might think.
If a client made you unhappy, you wouldn't fight with him/her. Instead, you would try to smooth things out. If this client made a crucial error, you would not criticize him -- you would try to help him recover. Overall, you would try to understand who your client is, what his goals are and how you can help him succeed.
Treat your wife like this, and you won't go too far wrong. Of course, don't tell her you're treating her like a client. Just do it!
2. Forget the golden rule. "Do to others as you would have them do to you" isn't the best advice for married men. When we treat our wives as we would like to be treated, we ignore the fact that our wives are quite different from us.
Forget whatever you think you know about what makes people happy, and observe your wife for a while. What does she really appreciate? What are her deepest interests and goals? Have your past gifts and gestures of love been on target? You might not have to work much harder to make your wife happier -- you might just have to stop doing things that you would appreciate if someone did them for you and start doing things she will appreciate.
Example: Buy her a greeting card when there's no special occasion, and inside write how much you love her and need her. Leave the card someplace she will stumble on it unexpectedly. Such a gesture would mean little to the average husband but lots to the average wife.
3. Do more than say "I'm sorry." A single "I'm sorry" won't balance the scales when you say something critical of your wife... dismiss her ideas or her feelings... or make her feel ignored. It will most likely take five positive interactions for every negative one before you're back to par.
According to research by the Gottman Institute, a Seattle-based couples therapy organization, marriages tend to be happy when spouses -- wives as well as husbands -- interact with each other in a positive manner at least five times as often as they interact in a negative manner. Positive interactions might include paying her compliments, saying, "Thank you" or "I love you," offering to do something for her, holding her hand or paying attention to her.
4. Master the makeup. The happiness of your marriage is not determined by whether you fight -- all couples do. It's determined by how well you patch things up afterward. Wait until you cool down -- that typically takes about 20 minutes -- then make a peace offering. Bring her a cup of tea... say you're sorry you argued... or tell her that you love her. Such gestures generally help couples get past the fight fast and back to the happy marriage.
Helpful: Makeups are easier if you avoid the four mistakes that turn arguments into lingering problems -- criticizing, showing contempt, acting defensive and stonewalling (shutting down when your partner reaches out to you).
5. Seek your wife's opinion. Wives often feel that they don't have an equal voice in the decision-making. As far as most husbands are concerned, the issue isn't who is making the decisions, but whether the correct decisions are being made. Still, you can make your married life happier if you seek your wife's approval on your ideas, even when you believe you're right. Who knows? Maybe she is right. Don't dismiss her opinion out of hand -- even when it isn't feasible. Instead, say something positive about the idea, then later express disappointment if together you "discover" that it won't work.
Example: She wants to fly across the country to visit your daughter next month. You know the trip won't fit into your budget. Rather than tell her no and invite her anger, establish that you're on her side. Say something like, "I always love to see our daughter. Let's see if we can afford it." Together, review the family's finances, and let her make the decision that you can't afford to go -- or perhaps she'll think of a clever way so that you can afford it.
6. Do some cleaning. Most wives think their husbands should help more with housework. Many husbands think they do so much work around the yard and with the car that housework isn't their responsibility. Who's right? Studies by University of Michigan Institute for Social Research show that husbands are. When work hours both inside and outside the home are added up, even husbands who don't help with the cleaning often put in about as many hours of effort as their wives.
Unfortunately, if you try to argue this point, you're sure to lose. You can either spend your life bickering about whether you get enough credit for your contributions -- working long hours at the office, tending the lawn and handling the car repairs -- or you can do some housework and have a happier marriage. To make your wife really happy, figure out which household task is her least favorite and do it without being asked.
Scott Haltzman, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University, Providence. He is a psychiatrist in private practice in Barrington, Rhode Island, and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever (Jossey-Bass). www.drscott.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment by MVI As a man inundated with requests to be more sensitive , the above advice makes sense.
Happiness is a trade off . The key is to be happy in your relationship not righteous and miserable because your partner thinks you are insensitive to her needs.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another useful tip
How to Find Lost Objects -- Fast Michael Solomon
One of life's persistent aggravations is misplacing everyday objects, such as keys, cell phones and reading glasses. You wind up wasting time ransacking the house in a frenetic search. Michael Solomon has studied how things get lost and how best to find them. His strategies...
Identify the Eureka Zone. The majority of lost objects tend to travel no more than 18 inches from their last known locations. I call this the Eureka Zone. Examples: A pencil that has rolled beneath your computer. Eyeglasses hidden under today's newspaper.
Whenever I lose something, I explore the Eureka Zone meticulously.
"Lose" another object. If you happen to drop and lose sight of an object that has one or more identical counterparts (such as a screw or an earring), try purposely dropping a second one and watching where it goes. This gives you an estimated radius for how far the first object might have rolled or bounced.
Make sure you are not staring right at it. When you're feeling rushed and agitated, your vision literally narrows. This is why your spouse or a friend often finds the lost object as soon as he/she joins in the search. You can improve your focus by taking a few deep breaths and repeating to yourself the name of the lost object over and over -- "car keys, car keys, car keys" -- which keeps you from becoming distracted from the task at hand.
Also, the object may look different than you imagine. Example: My friend couldn't find a hardcover book that he needed. We searched his apartment in vain until I grew suspicious of his description and began to examine the paperbacks on his bookshelf. There was the book, a paperback, in plain sight.
Check whether you've substituted one routine motion for another. Instead of being where it's supposed to be, your object may be where something else is supposed to be. This often happens in the kitchen. Example: You normally keep scissors in a jar on the kitchen counter, but you mindlessly returned them to the tool drawer.
It's also a problem when filing items. Example: You file your Bruce Springsteen CD under "B," instead of "S."
See if the object has been borrowed. Is it something that your spouse or your coworkers may have used since the last time you saw it? Ask before you drive yourself crazy looking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Important: Help your friends get much more out of life -- forward this E-letter to them. Better: Send it to many friends and your whole family.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men often are told that to improve their marriages, they must share their hopes and fears with their wives and become more emotionally connected -- in short, that they must behave in ways that are totally unnatural for the average man.
Good news: There are steps men can take that will make their marriages happier but still let them be themselves...
1. Treat your wife like a business client. Many men say they don't know what's expected of them in romantic relationships -- yet the same men know what to do in business relationships. The two aren't as different as you might think.
If a client made you unhappy, you wouldn't fight with him/her. Instead, you would try to smooth things out. If this client made a crucial error, you would not criticize him -- you would try to help him recover. Overall, you would try to understand who your client is, what his goals are and how you can help him succeed.
Treat your wife like this, and you won't go too far wrong. Of course, don't tell her you're treating her like a client. Just do it!
2. Forget the golden rule. "Do to others as you would have them do to you" isn't the best advice for married men. When we treat our wives as we would like to be treated, we ignore the fact that our wives are quite different from us.
Forget whatever you think you know about what makes people happy, and observe your wife for a while. What does she really appreciate? What are her deepest interests and goals? Have your past gifts and gestures of love been on target? You might not have to work much harder to make your wife happier -- you might just have to stop doing things that you would appreciate if someone did them for you and start doing things she will appreciate.
Example: Buy her a greeting card when there's no special occasion, and inside write how much you love her and need her. Leave the card someplace she will stumble on it unexpectedly. Such a gesture would mean little to the average husband but lots to the average wife.
3. Do more than say "I'm sorry." A single "I'm sorry" won't balance the scales when you say something critical of your wife... dismiss her ideas or her feelings... or make her feel ignored. It will most likely take five positive interactions for every negative one before you're back to par.
According to research by the Gottman Institute, a Seattle-based couples therapy organization, marriages tend to be happy when spouses -- wives as well as husbands -- interact with each other in a positive manner at least five times as often as they interact in a negative manner. Positive interactions might include paying her compliments, saying, "Thank you" or "I love you," offering to do something for her, holding her hand or paying attention to her.
4. Master the makeup. The happiness of your marriage is not determined by whether you fight -- all couples do. It's determined by how well you patch things up afterward. Wait until you cool down -- that typically takes about 20 minutes -- then make a peace offering. Bring her a cup of tea... say you're sorry you argued... or tell her that you love her. Such gestures generally help couples get past the fight fast and back to the happy marriage.
Helpful: Makeups are easier if you avoid the four mistakes that turn arguments into lingering problems -- criticizing, showing contempt, acting defensive and stonewalling (shutting down when your partner reaches out to you).
5. Seek your wife's opinion. Wives often feel that they don't have an equal voice in the decision-making. As far as most husbands are concerned, the issue isn't who is making the decisions, but whether the correct decisions are being made. Still, you can make your married life happier if you seek your wife's approval on your ideas, even when you believe you're right. Who knows? Maybe she is right. Don't dismiss her opinion out of hand -- even when it isn't feasible. Instead, say something positive about the idea, then later express disappointment if together you "discover" that it won't work.
Example: She wants to fly across the country to visit your daughter next month. You know the trip won't fit into your budget. Rather than tell her no and invite her anger, establish that you're on her side. Say something like, "I always love to see our daughter. Let's see if we can afford it." Together, review the family's finances, and let her make the decision that you can't afford to go -- or perhaps she'll think of a clever way so that you can afford it.
6. Do some cleaning. Most wives think their husbands should help more with housework. Many husbands think they do so much work around the yard and with the car that housework isn't their responsibility. Who's right? Studies by University of Michigan Institute for Social Research show that husbands are. When work hours both inside and outside the home are added up, even husbands who don't help with the cleaning often put in about as many hours of effort as their wives.
Unfortunately, if you try to argue this point, you're sure to lose. You can either spend your life bickering about whether you get enough credit for your contributions -- working long hours at the office, tending the lawn and handling the car repairs -- or you can do some housework and have a happier marriage. To make your wife really happy, figure out which household task is her least favorite and do it without being asked.
Scott Haltzman, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University, Providence. He is a psychiatrist in private practice in Barrington, Rhode Island, and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever (Jossey-Bass). www.drscott.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comment by MVI As a man inundated with requests to be more sensitive , the above advice makes sense.
Happiness is a trade off . The key is to be happy in your relationship not righteous and miserable because your partner thinks you are insensitive to her needs.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another useful tip
How to Find Lost Objects -- Fast Michael Solomon
One of life's persistent aggravations is misplacing everyday objects, such as keys, cell phones and reading glasses. You wind up wasting time ransacking the house in a frenetic search. Michael Solomon has studied how things get lost and how best to find them. His strategies...
Identify the Eureka Zone. The majority of lost objects tend to travel no more than 18 inches from their last known locations. I call this the Eureka Zone. Examples: A pencil that has rolled beneath your computer. Eyeglasses hidden under today's newspaper.
Whenever I lose something, I explore the Eureka Zone meticulously.
"Lose" another object. If you happen to drop and lose sight of an object that has one or more identical counterparts (such as a screw or an earring), try purposely dropping a second one and watching where it goes. This gives you an estimated radius for how far the first object might have rolled or bounced.
Make sure you are not staring right at it. When you're feeling rushed and agitated, your vision literally narrows. This is why your spouse or a friend often finds the lost object as soon as he/she joins in the search. You can improve your focus by taking a few deep breaths and repeating to yourself the name of the lost object over and over -- "car keys, car keys, car keys" -- which keeps you from becoming distracted from the task at hand.
Also, the object may look different than you imagine. Example: My friend couldn't find a hardcover book that he needed. We searched his apartment in vain until I grew suspicious of his description and began to examine the paperbacks on his bookshelf. There was the book, a paperback, in plain sight.
Check whether you've substituted one routine motion for another. Instead of being where it's supposed to be, your object may be where something else is supposed to be. This often happens in the kitchen. Example: You normally keep scissors in a jar on the kitchen counter, but you mindlessly returned them to the tool drawer.
It's also a problem when filing items. Example: You file your Bruce Springsteen CD under "B," instead of "S."
See if the object has been borrowed. Is it something that your spouse or your coworkers may have used since the last time you saw it? Ask before you drive yourself crazy looking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Important: Help your friends get much more out of life -- forward this E-letter to them. Better: Send it to many friends and your whole family.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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