positive energy

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The Power of Positive Energy

Nancy Burson

ositive, loving thoughts make us feel optimistic and upbeat. We radiate a positive "energy." Others pick up on this positive energy when we walk into a room, and they start to feel a bit more positive themselves. When we have negative thoughts, we give off a negative energy that not only brings us down but can bring down the mood of a whole group.

You can't hide your true energy -- human beings are very good at picking up on each other's emotions. Fortunately, you can take control of your energy and learn to focus it. Strategies...

IDENTIFY NEGATIVE ENERGY AROUND YOU

You wake up feeling great, but by the afternoon, you're in a terrible mood -- even though nothing bad has happened in the interim. What went wrong? Chances are, you got saddled with someone else's negative energy.

To restore your positive feelings, identify where the negative energy came from. This might not be easy if you didn't notice that your energy had changed until hours later. But if you can find some quiet time to reflect on your day, it's usually possible to pinpoint when and why your energy shifted. Perhaps you had a conversation with someone who was feeling depressed... or you stood in line at the post office with customers who were anxious to be elsewhere. Once you identify the negative energy as belonging to someone else, it's easy to let it go. Just say to yourself, "This isn't mine," and picture it drifting away.

If you know people who are chronically negative, stay alert to your energy when they're around to prevent them from pulling you down.

SEPARATE YOUR PARENTS' ENERGY FROM YOUR OWN

Some people carry around energy their whole lives that belongs to their parents. Though they might come to think of this energy as their own, it really isn't.

Example: Parents who are fearful and anxious tend to raise children who are fearful and anxious.

Parental energy can be too deeply ingrained to dispense with entirely. But it can be put in perspective and identified as belonging to someone else so that it doesn't control our lives.

When you feel your parents' negative energy creeping into your thoughts, stop and tell yourself, "This is not my energy."

AVOID JUDGMENTS

When we strongly disagree with someone, we create negative energy that affects our moods. We also block ourselves off from considering the other person's point of view. Perhaps this person has something of value to say, even if we don't agree with all of his/her opinions.

It's best to avoid judgments. If someone is loudly expressing political beliefs that differ from your own, don't argue or silently seethe. Say, "That's an interesting point of view," and move on.

APOLOGIZE

Few things can change the energy of a relationship faster than an apology. We've all said or done things that we knew were wrong, either by accident or because we were angry and got carried away. If we let the situation evolve into a feud, we've created some of the most negative energy possible. Every time you think of this person, your mood will darken. But if we catch ourselves, apologize and explain what we really mean -- or simply admit we got carried away -- it can turn the relationship completely around and create a very positive energy. Heartfelt apologies are very rare in our culture, so they tend to be valued.