A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what the types were.
The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"<
Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"
The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
Advantages Of Being A Woman
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her behind.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure we're still there.
- If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
- We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
- We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Be Politically Correct With Women
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
Why it's better to be a Woman!
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
- Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
- We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
- We can cry and get off speeding fines.
- We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
- Taxis stop for us.
- Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
- We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
- We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
- It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
- We don't have to "noisily pass wind" to amuse ourselves.
Back to Eden communities
Sunridge -261 Oakhill Drive, Brantford
New Beginnings -23 Richards Ridgetown
"Building elder peer communities that are cozy,caring and comfortable" -quality 24/7 care